LOST

so, i thought i knew lost, many kinds of lost, many types
being lost
feeling lost
looking lost.

but this weekend, i learned about a new lost...

wanting lost.

all weekend long, i wanted to be lost. i wanted to find lost, (which i think is an interesting oxymoron) and i wanted to stay lost. i wanted to lose myself, lose my way, lose any kind of schedule or plan, and stay that way.

and in this place, i lost many things. my worries, my stresses, my sense of time passing, my sense of responsibility to the outside world. and my want or need to ever return to the life i knew before.

but this lost wasn't frightening. it wasn’t overwhelming. it wasn’t intimidating. it wasn’t something i was trying to get away from. quite the opposite. it was something i wanted to hold onto always. and even as i left, and found my way back to reality, i stole away a part of that lost and took it with me, and i hold it now, inside me always.